I’m going to cut to the chase. We all have bad habits. From not changing the toilet paper roll to gossiping.
But there are three main habits that I’ve found in my research that unsuccessful people have that above all else continue to create a world of failure and mediocrity for them.
These three habits can be applied to business owners, little league coaches, CEO’s…you name it!
But I’m here to talk about MOMS.
–>Although if you’re not a mom, please read on if you are unsuccessful in any way, this WILL apply to you too!
Blaming is soooo easy to do to others but soooo hard to do to ourselves. The husband, the government, the aliens, but most of all THE KIDS. They are the best target because they are cute and chaotic. They are unpredictable and lovable. So when you blame them you don’t stay mad. If you were to blame yourself for all of your failures you would actually have to feel angry.
So how do you stop this? You have to begin to recognize when you do you it before anything else. You have to be honest with yourself. Is it the kids fault you are late to your meeting or did you not leave enough time in the morning? Is it your kids fault that you are eating their leftovers or did you not plan ahead and make your own meal before theirs so you wouldn’t pick at it?
Recognize, Accept and Recondition
Recognize when you are doing it. Accept the true blame. Recondition yourself through daily reminders to think before you FEEL.
Justifying is a kinder but still malevolent version of blaming … but instead of blaming your failure on someone, you are giving yourself permission to fail, suck or be average. I used to do this a lot. “It’s okay that I don’t have a lot of money, young people are not supposed to have a lot of money, it’s part of growing up.” “It’s okay that I’m eating my kid’s leftovers, that’s all part of young parenting, it’ll make for great memories!” All of these all us to feel okay for our short-comings or lack of action / proactivity.
Recognize when you are justifying (all excuses are justifications). Accept that you are doing this. Recondition your brain to say to yourself “this is a justification so I will do X in spite of it.” Today I felt tired. I didn’t want to write this blog. I thought “I got up early today, I deserve a nap. My nap is JUSTIFIED” and my brain said “Nooooo no no missy, this is a justification for why you shouldn’t do something when you know full well why you should!”
Ever been around a constant complainer? OMG it makes me want to shrivel up and die. It’s like their constant stream of blather about how the world hates them and everyone and everything is out to get them never ends. If you are a complainer please look inside yourself and see that what you are doing is actually attracting bad things to you. If you are not a complainer but find yourself in close proximity to one frequently, RUN! Their toxicity spreads like wildfire!!
The feeling you get when you complain is addictive. You know the feeling. It’s similar to the gossiping feeling. A little bit of a high followed by a huge let-down that what you want in life isn’t happening. And then complainers start trying to one-up each other. It’s just all bad.
Recognize when you are doing it, Accept the fact that you are, and Recondition your brain to swallow those words and say something positive. “Traffic sucks so bad” turns to “isn’t it nice to have a little extra time this morning to listen to the radio and peacefully sip my coffee.” Nice isn’t it?
So there you have it! The only three things unsuccessful people successfully do. They blame, they justify, they complain.
If you are a mama who finds yourself doing these things, reach out to me. YOU CAN CHANGE and live the life you want!!